How to damage your foot in under 2 minutes whilst obliviously recording a tour of the villa in Lanzarote… I’m obviously both the narrator and the accident prone, rolled into one for the purpose of this video. It started off so well 🙂
Generation Iron – Beginnings At 14 and Having a Gun Held to My Head
Up until the age of 14 I had never done any training. Never lifted a weight. That was all about to change when I went to Yugoslavia with my family and my great aunt. We didn’t have much money in those days, so my parents had to take the cheaper option and go there by…
Elizabeth Is Bewitching
When I was still at junior school, my mum excitedly put a programme on TV and said, “I used to watch this years ago. It’s about a witch who is married to a normal man – it’s so good“. I didn’t know what to expect. It was all in Black & White and it had…
Meanwhile, Somewhere In Birmingham…
Here’s a fairly recent photo of me in Birmingham, which I just noticed while I was browsing through my folders. As the bishop once said to the actress… (excuse the moody look – I sometimes get myself into ‘the zone’)
25 More Tweets I Probably Should Have Kept to Myself
While it was fresh on my mind, I reached my hand into the bag of 5000+ tweets I’ve written and pulled out numbers 26-50 Let’s see what my mind came up with, because these are all news to me too 😉 Starting with #50 and counting down to 26… #50 #49 #48 #47 #46 #45…
My Top 25 Tweets Of All Time (Plus My First)
Somehow I’ve been on Twitter (some people call it ‘X’ now 😉 since 2011. I just went back to see what the first thing I ever “tweeted” was and it was this on NYE 2011: I really just used it as a surreal brain dump/observation post until I created this blog. Somehow I’ve posted on…
Crystal Lake (Ooh….1971)
It’s 1971. It’s Horror. And it’s on Peacock from October 15th Count me in…
Rabbits!
I designed this rabbit t-shirt (not for me) but it was one size out so I ended up with it 🙂 Here I am wearing it, after swimming nearly 20 miles and numerous meetings with gravity since June. Now almost 3 months into my renewed fitness regime. What d’ya think? Good? Bad? Indifferent? 😉 And…
One Snooze Away From Nirvana
There’s a God which exists and its sole duty is to facilitate our sleep. Don’t laugh, I’m serious. When I was 19 I had an alarm clock that sounded like a transvestite. Halcyon days! No matter how hard it tried, this thing couldn’t wake me up. Fast forward to 2026 and I find myself waking…
I Never Saved Anything For The Swim Back
Gattaca and Dead Poets Society are two of my favourite films. I’ve mentioned them several times on this blog already. In Gattaca, there is a sibling rivalry between Vincent and his genetically engineered brother, Anton. They used to play a game of “chicken” where they would swim out to sea. The first one to turn…
Imagine Being Superman On A Day You Couldn’t Be Arsed
One day while I was minding my own business I got to thinking what it would be like to be Superman but on a day when I couldn’t be arsed to save the world or do anything remotely super-hero like. This is what I imagined that may look like (and yes, I did write the…
In My Natural Habitat
This is me in my natural habitat, grinding out another session… The headphones stop people coming up to you asking how many sets you’ve got left 🙂
What’s It All About… Elfie
To my knowledge only two pictures of me in a gym exist on the interwebs. That’s because I never take my mobile phone onto the gym floor with me. I’ve unwittingly ended up in live streams by Tik Tok’ers (etc) because every stick insect thinks they are a bodybuilder/fitness guru these days. Anyway, this one…
If Freshly Spilled Ink Was An Old Style Advertorial
If Freshly Spilled Ink.com was an old style advertorial (don’t tell me you don’t love this lol)… Great ideas make you feel something, don’t they? 😉
When God Lived In Kentish Town
I’m writing this late Sunday morning and this post is inspired by a song I heard on the radio this morning, which I’ve always liked. The song reminded me of a short story by Michael Marshall Smith, called “When God Lived In Kentish Town“. As far as titles for stories go, that one is definitely…
A Trip to the Dreaded Dentists
Let’s get one thing out of the way before we begin, I absolutely hate going to the dentists. The other thing is, whenever I go, it always reminds me of the cartoon Bob & Margaret, because Bob is a wayward dentist in it. If I had my way I’d never go, but I accept it’s…
The Octopus That Climbed Down Windows
At junior school, I used to sit next to a girl called Suzanne. Believe it or not, at school, they used to put two of us on washing up duty in the teachers staff room. Suzanne was always the one I ended up on duty with and she was a decidedly hard worker. Whatever she…
Introducing Dean: Just For Fun
I did a thing… Introducing Dean. Just for fun and somewhat tongue-in-cheek of course: I ended up getting carried away and created a version with a bit of extra added sauce: Which one is best? Answers on a postcard (or in the comments)